But am I a pretty rock???

Welcome back! Or welcome in general! This episode is going to be a challenge to write but hopefully not a challenge to read. A friend asked me to write a blog about “acceptance”. Acceptance is something we work on a bunch in the program. It’s key to our survival. It’s important enough to be a part of the Serenity Prayer so that tells me something. Shall we begin?

Things have been going very well lately. Some challenges that I was concerned with never actually materialized. Some REALLY nice surprises dealing with the blog and book have popped up. My first official speaking engagement for 2017 is on the books for crying out loud! When is something bad going to happen??? The answer is “someday” BUT I no longer have to live in dread. I’ve learned something pretty cool thanks to the extra credit work assigned to me by my friend Scott. Ready??

We have to accept GOOD things just as well as bad things.

I gave that statement it’s own line because I believe it’s that important. Good things happen! Sometimes we have to look a little harder but they are definitely there. I don’t think that applies solely to those of us that are in the program so…

Commitment to blog topic made, off I go in search of inspiration. How hard can it be to get inspired about acceptance? It’s a cornerstone of the program and after taking some time to honestly think about some of the happiest people I know, it’s pretty important to normals as well. Unfortunately, it seems the more frivolous the topic, the easier it is to write about. What to do…

Back to the well of inspiration! Walk down the steps to the lake and wow. It’s gorgeous. The water was so calm and the colors blended so well that you could barely tell where the lake ended and the sky began. Not hard to get lost in thought. Lost enough to plunk down on my rock and drain the brain. Yes, it looked like I tipped over a thimble of water as opposed to dumping out a five gallon bucket, smarty pants! Not sure if it’s meditation or just plain old daydreaming but it worked. Oh I didn’t find inspiration but did I find peace? A Great Lake full of it! Now what? Now I walk back up the stairs and hope to find this great inspiration elsewhere.

My beach is pure rock. Not a grain of sand to be found. Trust me, if there was one, it would have found its way into my flip flop by now. So annoying… Navigating this rocky beach requires one to look down to avoid falling on one’s arse. I failed at finding inspiration, maybe I can not wipe out and in the process, find a cool rock for my friend Nancy’s collection! Yeah, see, the bulk of the rocks on my beach are super boring. Flat, tan colored, boring ass rocks. What do you do with boring ass rocks? Throw them into the lake whence they came! How many of us have spent countless hours skipping stones, throwing for distance or just going for the biggest splash? Is THAT meditation? Not sure but I was enjoying mindlessly tossing those boring ass rocks. Then I found a nice “roundy” that I could really get out there. A quick toss in the air, a quick glance at the little bugger, a firm grip and send it! And the split second that it left my hand, I realized I just sent a nice Petoskey stone out into the deep. By “the deep” I mean it probably only traveled 20 feet (I’m no Verlander) but still well beyond wading depth. That could have been Nancy’s rock, dammit! Hell with it, I’m going to go up, make dinner and listen to some new tunes. Bye rocks! Enjoy your boring ass selves! I’ve accepted that I’m STILL uninspired AND lousy at picking pretty rocks. OR am I quitter that hurled his peace into the lake like a boring ass rock (or Petoskey stone, dammit)? 

An important part of this whole “new life” thing is actually following through on the lessons I’m learning, not just reading them and checking them off some imaginary list. Did I really believe that there was not one super cool rock on that entire beach? (Actually I kind of did but that doesn’t fit the story so pretend I didn’t.) Heck no! Back down the stairs and about 5’9″ away (give or take) was the red and black rock in the picture. Not being a trained rock photog, I didn’t capture it’s true beauty but trust me, you would be very proud to have this gem in your rock collection. What REALLY happened here?

From a boring ass rock’s perspective, a lot. Rock was laying on the beach, enjoying a gorgeous fall afternoon in total peace. An outside force completely changed everything that rock was experiencing. Guess what that rock is going to do? Ride the waves back to shore and have great stories to tell his new rock pals. Not part of his original plan but true acceptance allows for some amazing gifts.

From my perspective, also a lot. I was so excited that someone liked my writing enough to request a topic that I was going to knock it out of the park. It was going to be super duper and it was going to be ready to post on Monday (today is Tuesday) and she was going to feel better. Mind you, she simply requested a topic, not a due date. Now the post is late (no it isn’t) and I’m stressed to the max (no I’m not).

Here’s what I learned about acceptance so far. Inside forces have just as much or more influence on our serenity as outside forces. The difference is we can get a jump on accepting the inside stuff because WE create it! I had total peace sitting down at that beach but temporarily tossed it out because I’m not conditioned to accept the good stuff. Yet. Did someone in the audience just whisper, “Balance”? Problem solvers have a much easier time accepting chaos because we can fix it. Accepting gifts? Not so much. Work to do, but once again, getting outside of one’s self is necessary and oddly effective.

Marsy, I hope you like your post. Nancy, I hope you like your rock. Thank you both for teaching me something without even trying. Love you both!

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Nikki says:

    Again Derek, awesome thoughts and great blog! How dare you throw a petoskey stone!! Love you buddy

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Derek Chowen says:

      I didn’t do it on purpose, Nikki! I promise! I know about where it is so I can point it out to you in the spring. Love you, too!


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